I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
