I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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