They should really pass out barf bags in church
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
