I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
