I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
