You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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