mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
