Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
