I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
