Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What a dumb baby whore.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
