so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
