If i come over, it means nothing
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
