Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
