She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
