When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
