He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
