That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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