Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life

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(574): View more from Indiana

no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"

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(678): View more from Georgia

He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(305): View more from Florida

he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.

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(518): View more from New York

Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.

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