neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
