So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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