Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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