It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
