It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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