If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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