Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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