i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
