i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
