If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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