You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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