He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
