yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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