Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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