Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize