she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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