I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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