its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
