you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
