from now on my penis is your penis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
