hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
soo... how was my night?
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