Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
