i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
