I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Houston, we have a squirter
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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