Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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