Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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