I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
