Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
