...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
