also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
