Nicole vs. Life
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
