either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
