you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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