I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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