Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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