Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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