he puts the penis in happiness.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
