i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
