im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize