I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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