If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
