are you still at the devil's house?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We have started to decorate penises.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
