yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i dont even know how to be here
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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