His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
