Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
