Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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