my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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