so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
