Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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